The innocents abroad; . their dinners at sucherratic and extraordinary hours, for we never called at a timewhen an exemplary Christian would be in the least likely tobe abroad on such an errand. The truth was, it was a basefraud—a snare to trap the unwary—chaff to catch fledglingswith. They had no English-murdering clerk. They trustedto the sign to inveigle foreigners into their lairs, and trustedto their own blandishments to keep them there till they boughtsomething;. We ferreted out another French imposition—a frequent 148 AMERICAN DRINKS COMPOUNDED. sign to this effect: All Manner of Amekic

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The innocents abroad; . their dinners at sucherratic and extraordinary hours, for we never called at a timewhen an exemplary Christian would be in the least likely tobe abroad on such an errand. The truth was, it was a basefraud—a snare to trap the unwary—chaff to catch fledglingswith. They had no English-murdering clerk. They trustedto the sign to inveigle foreigners into their lairs, and trustedto their own blandishments to keep them there till they boughtsomething;. We ferreted out another French imposition—a frequent 148 AMERICAN DRINKS COMPOUNDED. sign to this effect: All Manner of Amekic
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Image ID: 2AWTXCT
The innocents abroad; . their dinners at sucherratic and extraordinary hours, for we never called at a timewhen an exemplary Christian would be in the least likely tobe abroad on such an errand. The truth was, it was a basefraud—a snare to trap the unwary—chaff to catch fledglingswith. They had no English-murdering clerk. They trustedto the sign to inveigle foreigners into their lairs, and trustedto their own blandishments to keep them there till they boughtsomething;. We ferreted out another French imposition—a frequent 148 AMERICAN DRINKS COMPOUNDED. sign to this effect: All Manner of Amekican DelnksAetistically Peepaeed Heee, We procured the servicesof a gentleman experienced in the nomenclature of the Amer-ican bar, and moved upon the works of one of these impos-tors. A bowing, aproned Frenchman skipped forward andsaid: Que voulez les messieurs ? I do not know what Quevoulez les messieurs means, but such was his remark. Our General said, We will take a whisky-straight. [A stare from the Frenchman.]. AMERICAN DRINKS. Well, if you dont know w^hat that is, give us a cham-pagne cock-tail. [A stare and a shrng.] ROYAL HONORS TO A YANKEE. 149 Well, then, give ns a slierry cobbler. The Frenchman was checkmated. This was all Greek tohim. Give us a brandy smash ! The Frenchman began to back away, suspicious of theominous vigor of the last order—began to back away, shrug-ging his shoulders and spreading his hands apologetically. The General followed him up and gained a complete victory.The uneducated foreigner could not even furnish a SantaCruz Punch, an Eye-Opener, a Stone-Fence, or an Earth-quake. It was plain that he was a wicked impostor. An acquaintance of mine said, the other day, that he wasdoubtless the only American visitor to the Exposition who hadhad the high honor of being escorted by the Emperors bod})guard. I said with unobtrusive frankness that I was aston-ished that such a long-legged, lantern-jawed, unprepossessinglooking spectre as he should be s